This journey with Christ is sometimes described as a roller coaster ride. As a teenager, my life seemed like I would run after God for a while, only to fade back into the same ole junk that I had been forgiven of. I believe the biggest issue is, because when we make up our minds to serve God, it seems like no one else is. I will tell you this from past and present experience, and it will be true in the future. When you are diligently running after Christ, it can get lonely sometimes. I believe that’s why many of us run back to our old habits, wrong crowds, wrong relationships, because we cannot handle loneliness! You need to face the fact, that the truth of the matter is, you are never alone…He is always there!
Currently in my life, running after God and serving in ministry, sometimes it still seems like this can be a roller coaster ride. It doesn’t always have to be sin that makes it seem like we are coasting down hill. Our life may seem as if all is well with God, but situations arise and we have to stop, pray, and evaluate out heart. We have to check our motives and evaluate decisions we are making. Do we do the things we do truly for God, to experience Him, to bless Him and to bless people? Or, do we do good deeds for ourselves just to make ourself feel better? Listen, Jeremiah 17:10 proclaims, “I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.” 1 Chronicles 28:9 also teaches us, “For the LORD searches all hearts and understands all the intent of thoughts.” I believe it is safe to say, that no matter how much we try to justify what we do, God sees and knows the true intentions of our hearts.
Song of Songs 2:15-16, “Catch for us the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom. My lover is mine and I am His.” Circumstances will arise in our life, and we will realize that there may still be some areas in our hearts that are not right! These distractions and hindrances are the little foxes that are trying to spoil the vine. Slowly they try to eat away and tear you down to nothing. We do our best to live righteously, then the Lord reveals some issues in our hearts and it hurts. We want to put ourselves down, beat ourselves up, and the enemy will grasp hold of these emotions and keep us feeling unworthy! I want you to know that you are growing! Maybe the Lord was testing your heart and you failed, and you do feel unworthy. Remember, failure is not always a bad thing as long as you learn a lesson from it! So do better next time!
In Revelation 3:19, Jesus says, “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore, be zealous and repent!” He chastises all whom He loves. Remember when you were a child, and you were out of line, and your parents had to spank that tail! Just because they were disappointed and frustrated with your behavior, that didn’t change their love for you! It is the same way with Christ. He loves you, and He is disciplining you so that you may be more like Him, falling more in love with Him! There will be times when the little foxes of hindrance and distraction invade your life! When they do, don’t worry. Go on to the next verse because His word says, “My Lover is mine and I am His.” God is yours, and you are His---nothing else matters!
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