A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire. Proverbs 15:1
It has just been a few weeks ago that I wrote as my facebook status, "I am learning more and more everyday the value of Proverbs 15:1." You see, there is a coworker whom I have always had a difficult time keeping peace with. That day, I had taken what was a direct confrontation and turned it around by saying, "I don't understand what you are saying. Would you show me?" The rest of the conversation went very smoothly. The person expected me to reply with the reasons why what I was doing was correct and what they were doing was incorrect. Taking time to understand why they were so passionate about what they were saying defused the situation.
I can't take credit for this lesson. I suppose God is the ultimate person to take credit for this lesson. However, in my time as a member of the Lead Team at our church, Pastor Eric has been gracious enough to correct me from time to time. There have been times when he has informed me that the result of my situation may have turned out better had I spoken a little softer, approached it a little gentler, and taken the high road.
You see, I come from a long line of blunt people, and I am accustomed to just saying what I am thinking and expecting things to hash out from there. This is a terrible way to approach people when you are approaching them as a Christian. It simply doesn't work out very well, very often.
Over time, I have watched the softer approach bring many blessings. I have seen it heal broken roads with people that someone before me had destroyed. I have seen it bring blessings to the church that we wouldn't have gotten otherwise because God moved someone's heart to help us. I have seen it clear up misunderstandings and shape the direction of an event. I have even seen it change circumstances in my own marriage. Kind words can do more for a situation than money or influence on any given day.
Now, I'm a stubborn soul. It took me a long while to succumb to the fact that this truly was best. Do you know why it is so difficult? It is difficult because taming your words requires discipline. If you have a temper, as I do, it takes even more discipline. It requires putting forethought into what you say rather than just letting it come out in whatever form that it does. It requires praying about how to handle a situation before you do anything. It simply requires more work on our part to approach things in this manner.
As I am sure somebody will watch me now to see if I follow my own advice, I'll say that I still have to work on it at times. I have learned the great value of this approach though, and I know it is worth it to keep striving to master it. It isn't the easy road, but it's the better road.
I can't take credit for this lesson. I suppose God is the ultimate person to take credit for this lesson. However, in my time as a member of the Lead Team at our church, Pastor Eric has been gracious enough to correct me from time to time. There have been times when he has informed me that the result of my situation may have turned out better had I spoken a little softer, approached it a little gentler, and taken the high road.
You see, I come from a long line of blunt people, and I am accustomed to just saying what I am thinking and expecting things to hash out from there. This is a terrible way to approach people when you are approaching them as a Christian. It simply doesn't work out very well, very often.
Over time, I have watched the softer approach bring many blessings. I have seen it heal broken roads with people that someone before me had destroyed. I have seen it bring blessings to the church that we wouldn't have gotten otherwise because God moved someone's heart to help us. I have seen it clear up misunderstandings and shape the direction of an event. I have even seen it change circumstances in my own marriage. Kind words can do more for a situation than money or influence on any given day.
Now, I'm a stubborn soul. It took me a long while to succumb to the fact that this truly was best. Do you know why it is so difficult? It is difficult because taming your words requires discipline. If you have a temper, as I do, it takes even more discipline. It requires putting forethought into what you say rather than just letting it come out in whatever form that it does. It requires praying about how to handle a situation before you do anything. It simply requires more work on our part to approach things in this manner.
As I am sure somebody will watch me now to see if I follow my own advice, I'll say that I still have to work on it at times. I have learned the great value of this approach though, and I know it is worth it to keep striving to master it. It isn't the easy road, but it's the better road.
"Father, help us today to tame our own tongues. Help us to take the high road, to speak softly, to think before we speak, to respond in a manner pleasing to You, in every situation we face today. Help us to understand that the good seed we plant today will bear good fruit tomorrow. In Jesus Name-Amen"
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